The Post Surgery Strug

Having two surgeries within three months of each other is no fun, especially when the surgeries are on your feet.  I struggled, and still struggle, with simple everyday tasks, as well as emotional stresses.  Side note: the "strug" is a shortening that my friends and I used in college (typically we would be describing the hangover struggles of life... we were young).

The biggest emotional struggle that I face is that of my own anxiety and frustrations.  Since the surgeries, I don't feel confident in my feet.  Knowing that there are screws holding some of my bones together worries me endlessly, and in turn, I don't necessarily put 100% into anything, knowing something could go wrong.  Because of that, I get extremely frustrated, and feel like I want to quit certain activities that I don't succeed right away at.

Physically, my balance, or lack thereof, has been the biggest hardship.  During a bunionectomy, pieces of bone are literally shaved off- in my case it was several millimeters worth.  To go 23 years with a set of feet, then have parts of them shaved off, is almost like walking on two new feet.  I am still wobbly when standing on one foot, and especially in work out classes when there are balancing exercises, I usually have to do a modified version.  I brush my teeth every morning and night while standing on one foot, hoping it will improve my balance (high hopes!).

Other struggles I face on the reg are: 

• Purchasing shoes- things don't fit the same, my shoe size actually decreased a half a size.  I definitely have a hard time buying heels, and only wear them when necessary- I'm also 5'10" so I don't really need heels!
• Sports, in general- I feel wobbly, and like I can't perform my best.  Kickball was especially scary for me to start, but each week I grow more comfortable with it.



Surgical scars... and my peace sign tattoo...

• Self consciousness about my  surgical scars- I'm definitely getting better with this one, but I still get kinda nervous when I'm taking my shoes off or when people are seeing my scars for the first time (pedicures are the most uncomfortable!!). 

I know my challenges are minor compared to other peoples', but when I succeed at something that I've been struggling with, I feel as if I've just overcome a huge feat.  If I balance for one whole minute on one foot, I give myself a "woohoo!!!" and a pat on the back, because while it may be easy for someone who hasn't had the surgery, it is a difficult task for me.

How do you deal with your struggles? Have you ever wanted to give up something because you got so frustrated?

How do you focus on your goals when the challenges and struggles seem to get in the way? 

Do you have any awesome scars?